Time For The Rest Of Your Life (Single)
I pounded on the farmhouse looking for a place to stay I was mighty mighty tired and I'd come a long long way I said "Hey hey in there! Is there anybody home?" I was standing on the steps, feeling most alone When out comes a farmer, must have thought that I was nuts He immediately looked at me and stabbed a gun into my guts Well I fell down to my bended knees Saying "I dig farmers, don't shoot me please!" He cocked his rifle and began to shout "Are you that travelling salesman that I heard about?" I said "no, no, no, I'm a doctor and it's true! I'm a clean cut kid, and I've been to college too." When in comes his daughter who's name was Rita She looked like she'd stepped out of a Dolce Vita I immediately tried to cool it with her Dad And told him what a nice pretty farm he had He said "What do doctors know about farms, pray tell?" I said "I was born at the bottom of a wishing well." By the dirt beneath the nails I guess he knew I wouldn't lie He said "I guess you're tired", he said it kinda sly I said "yesterday ten thousand miles I drove" He said "I got a bed for you, underneath this stove. Just one condition, you can go to sleep right now - That you don't touch my daughter, and in the morning milk the cow." I was sleeping like a rat when I heard something jerking There stood Rita looking just like Tony Perkins She said "would you like to take a shower? I'll shut the door" I said "no, no, no, been through this movie before." I knew I had to split but I did not know how When she said "would you like to take that shower now?" Well I could not just leave unless the old man chased me out 'Cos I'd already promised that I'd milk his cows I had to say something to strike him very weird So I yelled "I like Fidel Castro and his beard!" Rita looked offended but she got out of the way He came charging down the stairs saying "what's that I heard you say?" Said "I like Fidel Castro, I think you heard me right" And I ducked as he swung at me with all his might Rita mumbled something about her Mother on the hill As his fist it hit the ice box he said he's gonna kill Me if I don't get out the door in two seconds flat You Unpatriotic Rotten Doctor Commie Rat Well he threw a Reader's Digest at my head and I did run I did a somersault as I seen him get his gun I crashed through the window at a hundred miles an hour And landed fully glassed in his garden flowers Rita said "come back!" and he started to load Sun was coming up and I was running down the road I don't figure I'll be back there for a spell Though Rita moved away and got a job in a motel He still waits for me, prancing on the sly He wants to turn me in to the F.B.I. Me romping, stomping, thankful as I romp Without freedom of speech I might be in that swamp
In case you're wondering, it's not a typo, that's how it was spelt on the single... at least on the 12" I've got.... smug? Me?