ON the couch - NME 22/8/98
TINY WOOD (ultrasound)

What song describes you best? "Final Solution" by Pere Ubu. It's angst-ridden, frustrated, unable to control itself, glorious - that's me.
What is heaven? Love, love, love.
What is hell? Poverty.
What is your earliest memory? Crawling across the kitchen floor of a Hampshire bungalow sometime before i could walk.
What is your greatest fear? Spiders, people and fear itself.
Who is your all-time hero? Mark E Smith.
What's the most trouble you've been in? When I let people down, I put myself through more hell than they'll ever know.
Who was the first love of your life? Tracey Martin. Me and my best mate Joey Devitt both went out with her when we were about nine years old. We kissed in turn.
What is your greatest talent? Patience and humour.
Upon whom would you most like to exact revenge, and how? Revenge is cheap. Live and let live.
What is your most treasured possession? A Zippo lighter with art-deco design.
What have you most regretted doing while drunk? Not being drunk enough to regret anything.
What can you cook? Mostly basic stuff. I make a nice cup of tea.
What's the best piece of advice you've received? "Let's rock" - Richard Green, 1994.
Can you read music? Sort of, but very slowly.
If you were invisible for a day what would you do? I would watch my girlfriend's life without me in it.
You have three final wishes. What are they? One would be record deals for Nude Idol, The Snipes and Tiny Too, another would be to have heaven on earth. The last would be: "Women of the world, take over. 'Cos if you don't the world will come to an end." That's Ivor Cutler.